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The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated.For other articles which you are free to use, see http://www.innerbonding.comTitle: The Need to Feel SpecialAuthor: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2004 by Margaret PaulURL: http://www.innerbonding.comWord Count: 739Category: Self ImprovementThe Need to Feel SpecialMargaret Paul, Ph.D.From the time Jennifer was a little child, she was demanding of attention, especially from her mother, Sarah. With two older brothers, Jennifer had a “special” place in the family as the baby and the only girl. She made sure to establish a “special” relationship with her mother, who relished the connection since she didn’t have much of a relationship with her emotionally distant husband. It was easy for Jennifer to control her mother’s attention. Because her mother was needy for emotional connection and afraid of not being liked, all Jennifer had to do was get angry at her mother and Sarah would capitulate, giving Jennifer the attention she craved. Jennifer learned early to control her mother by becoming angry, critical and withholding love when her mother didn’t do what she wanted. Unwittingly, Sarah contributed to Jennifer’s neediness, entitlement issues, and the belief that happiness was dependent on approval and attention from others.Jennifer, now in her late 30’s, finds herself continuing the pattern she started with her mother – attaching to others in needy and demanding ways. The result is she has not been able to have a successful relationship with any of the men she has dated. We all have a need to feel special. It is not the need that is dysfunctional, it is how we go about getting the need met that can be either dysfunctional or healthy. It is dysfunctional when we make others responsible for making us feel special. When others have to give us attention, compliment us, seek us out, and attend to our wants and needs in order for us to feel special, our behavior is dysfunctional.HEALTHY SPECIAL-NESS You will stop pulling on others to make you special only when you accept the full responsibility of making yourself feel special. This means learning to give yourself all that you may be trying to get from others – treating yourself in the loving ways you desire from others. There are many ways of making ourselves feel special. Instead of trying to get others to give you what you want, you can:• TAKE EMOTIONAL RESPONSIBILITY:* Attend to your feelings throughout the day and explore what you may be doing that is causing painful feelings, rather than making others responsible for your feelings.* Attend to your own needs rather than expecting others to meet your needs.* Accept yourself rather than judge yourself. Validate yourself, approve of yourself – tell yourself the things you want to hear from others. Value your talents and gifts.* Value your intrinsic worth rather than just your looks or performance – your kindness, compassion, creativity, caring.* Behave in ways that you value – being loving, kind, integreous, compassionate, understanding, caring. * Pursue work you love, work that fulfills you, if possible.• TAKE PHYSICAL RESPONSIBILITY: * Feed yourself well to maintain health and appropriate weight.* Get enough rest and exercise.* Create balance between work and play and creative time.* Make sure you are physically safe such as when riding a motorcycle.• TAKE FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY:* Make sure you are financially independent rather than dependent upon another, if physically able to do so.* Spend within your means to avoid the fear and stress of debt.• TAKE RELATIONSHIP RESPONSIBILITY:* Stand up for yourself and speak your truth rather than complying, defending or resisting in the face of others’ demands or criticism. Don’t be a victim.* Refrain from blaming others, with anger and criticism, for your feelings and behavior. Don’t be a victim.• TAKE ORGANIZATIONAL RESPONSIBILITY:* Do what you say you are going to do regarding time and chores.* Make sure your living space and work environment are clean and tidy, and esthetically pleasing.• TAKE SPIRITUAL RESPONSIBILITY: * Take the time to connect with the love and truth of God/Higher Power.* Take time throughout the day to bring the love down to the level of your feeling self – your Inner Child. Treating yourself in these loving ways will eventually result in feeling internally special rather than needing others to make you feel special. As Jennifer practiced making herself special, she discovered that her relationships with others were becoming stronger and more fulfilling. People were no longer pulling away from her, resisting her, or defending themselves against her demands for attention. Her behavior naturally and gradually changed with others when she was treat herself as a special person.

APD can affect people of any age. It usually begins in childhood, but some people get it later in life. It affects between 2% and 7% of children, with boys being more likely than girls to have it. Because the disease can cause academic difficulties, children with it may require more support in school.

APD isn’t the same as hearing loss or a learning disability. It means that your brain does not “hear” noises in the way it normally does. It’s not a matter of comprehending the meaning. A person with APD, for example, may have difficulty distinguishing between the sounds of a bat and a cat. In some cases, most words can also be scrambled when heard, making the person unable to exactly comprehend and process the words.

Other things that elicit similar symptoms could be associated with APD. In fact, it could be one of the causes of dyslexia in some people. Furthermore, some specialists believe that youngsters may be classified as having ADHD when they actually have APD.

APD can influence your child’s ability to read, write, and spell, as well as the way they talk. They might omit word endings or mix up similar sounds. It can also be difficult for them to communicate with others. They might not be capable of processing what others are saying quickly enough to respond.

It is unknown what causes APD. However, the issues affect people of all ages and in various ways. Common symptoms include failing to pay attention to what people are saying, not recognizing the source of a sound, being unable to listen to music, and comprehending what people are saying when engaged in a conversation. So, if they don’t understand, they could respond in unexpected ways.

The reason for APD in children is frequently unknown. Children with head trauma, lead poisoning, seizure disorder, or recurrent ear infections are thought to be at a higher risk. There may be multiple causes in some cases. APD is a contentious topic. Experts disagree about whether it is a disorder in and of itself, and there are several definitions. However, the phrase is still in use, and the challenges are very real.

The first step in determining whether or not you have APD is to rule out hearing loss. Professionals in the medical field are usually capable of doing so. Audiologists, on the other hand, conduct APD testing. The audiologist will conduct a series of sophisticated listening tests in which your child will be exposed to a variety of sounds and respond accordingly. They could, for example, repeat them or press a button. The doctor may also place non-painful electrodes in your child’s ears and head to assess how their brain responds to sound, and, accordingly, prescribehearing aids in Sri Lanka.

Speech therapy is the most common treatment for APD. If the child has a language issue, the school may provide free therapy. However, speech-language therapists in clinics or in medical clinics are also available. The earlier you begin treatment, the better. There is no cure for APD, and treatment is tailored to the individual. However, it usually concentrates on certain areas, such as alterations to the physical surroundings to improve the listening environment, individualized treatments, and help for non-listening symptoms that are managed by other professionals. Many places provide services for hearing aids in Maharagama, and the hearing aid price in Sri Lankais guaranteed to be affordable.

Individualized therapy is a key aid in the development of a child’s auditory pathway. The audiologist would typically recommend them based on the findings of a child’s exams and concerns, and sometimes prescribe hearing aids for better assistance. Children with APD can benefit from a variety of computer-assisted programs. They primarily help the brain process sounds in a noisy environment. These programs are available at some schools. If your child has APD, check with the school to see what choices are accessible, and use the hearing aid service online in Sri Lanka to get the best of the options available.